And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
