it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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