Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
not ubering you a puppy
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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