so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
