you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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