Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
