Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
