if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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