Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dick very happy bro
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