It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
