you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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