I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
