Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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