What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
