Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
These tits shall not be calmed
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
