No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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