I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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