i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
