Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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