and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
