Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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