So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
