Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
