Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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