Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
