Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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