I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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