Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
