Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
