She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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