She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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