i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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