a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
