It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
