Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
