Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
