Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
