I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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