I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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