That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
