I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
