Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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