in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
love makes seman taste better
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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