No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
