True but thats because hes a fetus.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The power of my boobs compel you
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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