Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I skipped work to stalk him.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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