:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
