like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
