Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
