hotel room ftw
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
